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Objects in the rear view are not as large as they once appeared.

After three sessions with UltraSlim, the amazing fat zapper, I have reached the halfway point of my targeted treatment plan.  The results speak for themselves:  there’s 8 1/4 inches less of me to lug around.  The scale has tipped enough for me to move that lever down a notch.  At certain times of the day, I can actually see the intersection of my thighs and torso.  You know, no more path of totality as my gut eclipses my lap!

Here are some of the things I’ve experienced over the past three weeks as the amazing fat burning machine works it magic:

  1.  I no longer have to “suck it and tuck it” to button my jeans. I can put them on while remaining vertical.
  2. Baby still has back, but now it’s not spilling over to the sides.  Every hip seam in my closet is breathing a sigh of relief.  And we all know the hips don’t lie.
  3. Familiarity breeds less awkwardness, even when my “kid” doctor  geeked out over my R2D2 panties.  Actually, I don’t think I’ve worn matching underwear yet to one of these sessions.  Is that for real?  Do most women match their undergarments?  Heck, I’m doing good to have on matching socks.
  4. Big shocker for me:  water is refreshing.  I still struggle to down a gallon each day, but now my body actually craves H2O.  Oh, and a margarita on Wednesday nights.  Definite craving right there.
  5. Because I’m sloshed with water (not tequila…ONE margarita is my limit thanks to Benjamin Franklin-I highly recommend his autobiography, by the way), I’m more mindful about my food choices.  I don’t have as much room to waste on trifles like appetizers and desserts.  I did tear up a filet mignon the other night, though, and I don’t regret it.
  6. I’ve quit snacking and I no longer like sweet tea.  I blame the water rather than the amazing fat burning machine for this new wrinkle, but the push in the right direction from UltraSlim keeps me focused.
  7. Speaking of wrinkles, all that hydration is doing wonders for my complexion.
  8. Genetics “blessed” me with Middle Aged Wattle, otherwise known as Expanding Chin Syndrome.  So far, the most visibly dramatic change from UltraSlim has been with my bullfrog puff.  Goodbye, Jabba!  Hello, jawline!
  9. I’m so pumped about the first three sessions that I haven’t bought any new clothes for schoolteaching yet, but I threw down on new shoes!  I think it’s unreasonable to expect to drop a shoe size after these treatments.  They’re amazing, not sorcery!

 

So far, so good with UltraSlim.  I guess that makes me a real loser, and I couldn’t be more pleased.